


A Minor Setback

by greisful



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drama, Humor, Humour, Next Generation, Pregnancy, young adult
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2018-07-10 19:55:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7004254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greisful/pseuds/greisful
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p></p><div class="center">
  <p>If you look up the phrase "worst decision ever made" you'll see me as the definition.<br/>If you look up the phrase "worst Head Girl in the history of Hogwarts" you'll also see me as the definition.<br/>If you look up "pregnant with Albus Potter's child" you'll most definitely see me.</p>
</div>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter of the First

**Author's Note:**

>   
>   
>  banner by Idioteque @ tda

_I blame my mum for this. She's the one who's always pestering me to get out and make friends all the time. The one time I listen to her and look where it landed me! If I'd known_ _there would be consequences then I would have just endured her constant nagging._

* * *

I receive an owl from my mother, the contents of which say something along the lines of how I should be having fun, enjoying my teenage years, and making friends. There are many mums out there who have to beg their daughters to stay in. I think my mum is the only ones to tell their child to go out and have fun at parties.   
  
But perhaps I will go out and socialize. Maybe there really is something to this whole friend business. Going to a Gryffindor party is probably not the best way to start off with making friends, but I had no other option. Gryffindor parties are legendary for their alcohol, drunk teenagers, messy common rooms, and occasionally, getting caught by professors. The first years always cleared out of the tower and stayed with a friend in another house in the next day, and I, well, I holed myself up in my room. My only other option however is approaching seventh years at random, which doesn’t sound like a bad idea except for the fact that I will most likely scare them off instead of encourage feelings of friendship.  
  
When the time arrives to get ready for the party, I rather reluctantly put on a plain, short-sleeved blue dress that stops at my knees and shows no cleavage. When I arrive in the Gryffindor common room, music is blasting, people are dancing and a few are sitting around in chairs drinking and talking. Some are drunk, a few are snogging and some are passed out in corners.   
  
The majority, however, seems to be, for the most part, inebriated; Louis Weasley seemed to be having a competition with his cousin Molly to see who could be more extreme while drunk, while a group of fifth years passed by with the brilliant intention of trying to get the Fat Lady drunk. I’m going to enjoy myself from a nice couch, stay out of the way, and then head back up to my dormitory. Making friends is too much effort when surrounded by these clowns.   
  
That’s the plan, but unfortunately it isn't meant to be. I’m sitting all alone, sipping my Butterbeer and watching everyone's control disappear. There are boys standing on tables, making loud speeches and crying over nothing. One girl is lying in a pool of her own throw up, someone who seems to be her friend hurries over and drags her out of her own vomit and leans her up against a wall, and someone has even slipped and fallen in a stranger’s vomit.   
  
The next thing I know, Albus Potter is slumped down on the cushion next to mine. I look at him and raise an eyebrow in question and he flashes me a smile. He’s covered in sweat from his enthusiastic dancing, his eyes are even brighter than usual, and his untidy hair is gleaming with perspiration. In short: he’s absolutely disgusting.  
  
"Any reason in particular why you look like you've just showered in sweat?" I ask, looking him up and down and wrinkling my nose in disgust.  
  
"I’m busy having fun, unlike you. Have you been sitting here doing nothing for the entire night?"  
  
"Just because I'm not drunk or rubbing myself up against someone inappropriately doesn't mean I'm not having fun," I reply, clenching my fists almost instinctively. It’s something that I do whenever people begin to criticize me as a person.  
  
"You have no idea how to have fun properly, do you?" Albus asks me. I scowl at him: at least he isn’t beating around the bush about the fact that I’m boring.  
  
"Of course I do!" I reply indignantly, my face heating up.  
  
"You haven't had an alcoholic drink this entire night!"  
  
"How would you know?"  
  
"I may have been glancing over here occasionally . . . repeatedly . . . a lot," Albus admits, turning red in the face. I glare at him. _I'll show him, I'll show him, just wait_.   
  
I march to the drink table, grab a full bottle of Firewhiskey and sit down next to Albus again. Without taking my eyes off him, I take a quick shot and almost spit it back out at the taste. He bursts into laughter at my reaction. He tugs the firewhiskey out of my hands and leaves me alone for a minute. Albus returns a moment later with two Butterbeers and the firewhiskey bottle tucked under his arm. For the next few minutes, he shows me how to drink firewhiskey without wanting to spit it out. You take a small sip of Butterbeer and then slowly drink the firewhiskey so that you can get used to the taste.  
  
I’m most likely the worst Gryffindor to ever set foot in this house. I don’t do reckless and impulsive. The amount of times that I’ve done something without thinking it through first can be counted on my fingers. I suppose this is going to have to be added.  
  
This is how it starts: from there, things get blurry and loud. The drinks have some kind of effect on me and I find myself laughing at jokes that aren't funny. A hag, a witch, and a centaur walk into a bar . . . and then Albus bursts out in giggles and forgets to finish the joke. My words become slurred and I'm pretty sure at some point, I lean up against Albus and smack a kiss on his lips.  
  
"I've never been drunk before!" I exclaim loudly. Albus grins stupidly – he’s quite drunk as well. I don’t know if it’s his first time being drunk but at the moment I don’t care in the least.  
  
"Well, you have now," Albus’s words are slurred as well, making it more difficult for me to decipher what he says. I giggle for no reason and rest my head on his shoulder. This is all that I remember. From then on things are blurry and at some point in the night I forget everything that happens. I know that I definitely make out with Albus and things go on like that for a little bit. The next thing I know, I’m in being up in a dormitory that is not my own: clothes are thrown on the floor and my memory ends. The rest remains this big huge blank in my brain.  
  
I nurture a raging headache the next day and the minute I get up, I rush to the loo to throw up the contents of my stomach. It isn’t that shocking to me, it’s a ritual that I’ve seen my roommates do many times. Once I stop throwing up, I leave the bathroom and look around the room, and the overlarge shirt that I’m wearing in confusion. This isn’t my room. I don’t own this many copies of Quidditch through the Ages, my dorm mates don’t leave clothing all over the floor, and I most certainly do not have ripped up school textbooks covering the area around my bed. I definitely do not own such a large and baggy shirt. But which bed have I just come from?  
  
I spot my clothes on the floor in front of Albus's bed. I tiptoe over to his bed, grab my clothes and put them on as quietly as I possibly can. I need to get out of here as fast and as quietly as possible. Unfortunately, Albus decides to wake up while I button up my shirt. He gives a loud groan and I slap my hand over his mouth. His eyes widen when he sees my face hovering above his own. I put a finger to my lips and he nods. He understands that he is not to utter one sound, or else I will hurt him.  
  
I go back to dressing myself, and then sneak out.  
  


* * *

  
  
That is the last I saw of Albus for a while. I still need to talk to him about what happened.  
  
The result of my stupid decision is that I may or may not be pregnant with Albus Potter's child. This is, of course, just a guess, but after continuously throwing up for a week, I'm pretty that I am correct.  
  
But today is the day that I talk to him. Two months is a little late, but hey, better late than never. There’s no rush to get ready for breakfast, I’m usually the first one up and out of the dormitory in the morning. It is not a habit that I particularly enjoy -there’s nothing all that enchanting about watching the sun rise- but unless I wish to arrive to class late every morning because of my dorm mates, then waking up earlier than everyone is my only option.  
  
I take the stairs to the common room quickly and spot Albus making for the portrait hole with his group of friends laughing at a joke Colin made. This is my chance and so I take it.  
  
"Potter!" I yell, hurrying into the common room.  
  
"Oooh, Albus is in trouble with the Head Girl," another of his friends says. He’s tall, and blond, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him before around Hogwarts. The stupidity emanating from them is practically suffocating.  
  
"Is your name Potter? No? I didn't think so," I snap. "Follow me, Potter." Without waiting to see if he's following, I walk out of the common room and lead him into an empty classroom. He stands there nervously and fidgets. I roll my eyes -I'm not that scary. It isn't as if I'm going to hurt him or anything.  
  
"About what happened that night at the party. Nobody ever hears of it, understand? If you tell anyone, I will erase their memory and kill you, understand?"  
  
"Yes, don't tell anybody, got it," Albus replies with a glare and pursed lips.  
  
"You know how I am, and everyone else knows how I am. I'm ashamed that I slept with someone, and it isn't in my plan for my entire life." If possible, Albus looks even more offended. _I've just made this worse, haven't I?_ I'm not good with people. I can keep order and get a job done but when it comes to talking to people, I'm horrid.  
  
"I suppose though, that you being my drunken one night stand is better than having a one night stand with anybody else. At least it was you and not someone disgusting." Albus' face softens and he nods in understanding.  
  
"This is just between you and I, nobody else will know," he assures me.  
  
"Thank you," I say and head for the door. I leave him there in the empty classroom and make my way to breakfast.  
  
There's no point in frightening Albus by telling him that I'm most likely pregnant with his child, not when it isn't official. The news would just scare the poor bloke. I'll go and see Madam Pomfrey today once lessons are done and get her to take a look at me.  
  
I could just as well have the stomach flu.  
  
I sit by myself at the Gryffindor table. I don't necessarily have friends: sure, I get along with my dorm mates but they're my dorm mates, we aren't close and there is no way that I would tell any of them my secrets. Not that I have that many secrets, anyway.  
  
Besides, everyone gave up on making friends with me after I ignored all friendly advances towards me in first year. It became clear to people that school was my best friend and it was going to be the only thing I focused on.  
  
Since the day I arrived at Hogwarts, my one and only thought was "get Head Girl". Over the years, I did my best to be the best at everything. I studied weeks before the date of a test, handed in homework the day after it was assigned, even if there was three weeks left til the deadline. People had learned that if they wanted a good grade then to stick with me as a partner because I'd take the work off their hands and earn us an O.  
  
The fact that people take advantage of me doesn’t bother me in the slightest. By the time my last year of Hogwarts is over, I’m still unlikely to know all of my classmates by name.  
  
I get through the classes of my day as usual: there is no sign on my face of the panic and worry that I'm feeling, which is just as well. I don’t need strangers guessing why I'm sweating in my robes. Once lunch arrives, I head down to the Great Hall and eat my usual meal of mashed potatoes, chicken, and tomato salad.  
  
I prop up _Hogwarts: a History_ against some plates and read through it for leisure while everyone else around me talks loudly about who knows what about whom. I have made a rule for myself that there is no schoolwork allowed while I am eating, and the only way to get around that rule is to read while I eat. It doesn't matter what, but I need to read something: sitting and doing nothing has never been an option for me.  
  
My afternoon classes pass painfully slow and for once in my life, I'm not paying attention or taking notes, I simply stare off into space and sleep with my eyes open. In History of Magic it's not a problem because Professor Binns doesn't notice anyone and goes on with his lecture, but Transfiguration is a whole different story. Professor McGonagall has eyes like a hawk: she sees everything. She pulls me aside at the end of her class and asks me if anything is wrong.  
  
I say no.  
  
She gives me a skeptical look and suggests that I see Madam Pomfrey to make sure I'm alright. I was planning on seeing Madam Pomfrey anyway. Once classes are over and everyone is in the common room, I leave my dorm, head into the common room and step outside the portrait hole without looking behind me. Bad decision.  
  
"Seraphina! Wait up! Where are you going?" Albus Potter yells after me. I stare at him, unable to understand what's going on.  
  
"I'm going to the Hospital Wing to see Madam Pomfrey," I reply.  
  
"I'll go with you -"  
  
"NO! You can't go with me!" a look of hurt comes onto Albus's face but he hides it a second later.  
  
"Come on, I'll go down with you, that way you won't be alone-" _We haven’t spoken to each other in years, why is he all of a sudden offering to escort me to the hospital wing? Does he think that I’m going to get lost on my way there?_  
  
"Potter, I said no, I don't want you to go down to the Hospital Wing with me, I don't want you to come with me and see Madam Pomfrey. I want you to go back into the common room and leave me be," I snap, completely ignoring the hurt look that's he’s not bothering to hide this time.  
  
"Fine," Albus spits out before walking past me. _Did he not just hear what I told him to do?_  
  
"Potter, I said you can't go to the Hospital Wing with me-"  
  
"I'm not going with you! I'm going to the kitchens!" he replies angrily. _I should apologize, shouldn't I? Oh, who cares._  
  
I continue on my way to the Hospital Wing in a bad mood. Bloody Albus Potter and his unwanted help. Why does he have to be so damn nice? I don't need his niceness: I may be carrying his spawn, but that's about as far as our relationship will ever go.  
  
No, I can't think like this.  
  
I am not carrying Albus Potter's spawn, I am not pregnant, I simply have the stomach flu. I am not pregnant. If I believe it enough then it might actually be true. What am I saying! Of course it's true. There is no way that I, Seraphina Doyle, am pregnant. I simply don't get pregnant, that isn't how I work.  
  
I knock on the door to the infirmary and wait for Madam Pomfrey to open the door. A few minutes later, her old and wrinkled face sticks out and she looks at me tiredly. I feel bad for disturbing her like this.  
  
"Madam Pomfrey, I need your help -"  
  
"Isn't it a bit late to be coming to the Hospital Wing?"  
  
"Not really, no, people come here with injuries and illnesses all the time-"  
  
"I meant for you Seraphina, you never come down here to see if you're sick unless someone forces you to." _Well excuse me for not liking the hospital. I wasn't aware it was such a crime._  
  
"Anyway, I need you to help me with something. Nobody else can hear about this. It's very important."  
  
"Alright, come in," she says, letting me through the door. I stand before her and twist my fingers nervously. How do I go about telling Madam Pomfrey that I might be pregnant? There really is no way to put it other than the blunt truth, now, is there? What's the point of leaving out details? The more she knows, the more Madam Pomfrey will be of help to me. If I'm pregnant that is, something I highly doubt is actually true. Most likely it's just my imagination running wild. Or, maybe I’m just trying to make myself feel better.  
  
"Madam Pomfrey, I think I might be pregnant," I blurt out without warning. She raises her eyebrows at me.  
  
"You  _think_ , don't you know?"  
  
"Well, no, that's why I'm here, to know for sure."  
  
"Follow me, Ms Doyle," Madam Pomfrey says, leading me to a more private part of the Hospital Wing. She takes out her wand, orders me to lift my shirt, points it at my stomach, and then mutters a spell. I look down to see what's happening and stare in awe as my stomach turns gold before fading back to normal.  
  
I'm hoping the gold means I'm not pregnant.  
  
"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid you are pregnant." _I'm sorry, what did she just say?_  
  
"That can't be possible, try that again." She tries again but my stomach glows gold before fading back to normal again.  
  
"This can't be possible, do it again."  
  
"Ms Doyle -"  
  
"Do. It. Again," I say through gritted teeth.  
  
"Ms Doyle, you are pregnant, it does not matter how many times I do this spell. You are pregnant."  
  
 _Oh no, Oh no, Oh God, this can't be happening. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I am Seraphina Doyle, I do not get pregnant, that isn't how it works. Oh good Lord what am I going to do! I need to sit down otherwise I'm sure to pass out._  
  
I sit on a cot and blankly stare at the wall opposite. I'm numb, I cannot feel anything, this cannot be happening. Maybe this is just a horrible dream and I'll wake up to the loud laughter of my dorm mates. I can tell that Madam Pomfrey is curious to know how exactly I came to be pregnant. I give her the answer before the question leaves her lips. What's the point of hiding it? The more she knows the more helpful Madam Pomfrey will be to me.  
  
"I got a letter from my mother saying that I should do teenage things, go to parties and have some alcohol, she was worried that I spend too much time studying. I thought about it and gave it a try, one thing led to another and before I knew it, I woke up in someone else's bed. I swear, I never meant for anything to go that far, I had just planned on sitting on a couch and watching everyone, I'd never planned on anything to happen!" I add this last part when I see the look of disappointment on Madam Pomfrey's face.  
  
"Sometimes Ms Doyle, not everything goes according to plan. Who's the father?"  
  
"Albus Potter," I whisper. Madam Pomfrey's eyebrows disappear into her hair. She seems quite shocked that Harry Potter's second son would get someone pregnant. She's probably not the only one: it's hard to imagine Albus Potter, of all people, getting someone pregnant. He seems so sweet and innocent. You'd expect something like this from James Potter but not Albus.  
  
"You know that he has to be told about this, Ms Doyle, don't you?"  
  
"Yes, I know, I'll tell him, I promise, I just need time to process this myself and then I'll tell him." Madam Pomfrey nods and leaves me alone. I'm free to leave the Hospital Wing whenever I please but I stay where I am for a few more minutes.  
  
 _Sweet Merlin, how am I going to tell this to Albus?_


	2. The Second Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Albus turns into a school criminal

_There's really no easy way to tell someone he’s the father of your child. There's no easy way of making the situation any less awkward once the words are out. It's just this whole time of awkwardness where both of you stand next to each other and try not to make eye contact because things are that awkward. Or so I would imagine, I’ve never actually been in this type of situation before._  
  
I’m having trouble avoiding Albus; Professor Verona and Flitwick insisted on partnering up the two of us. In Charms I completely ignore Albus whenever he attempts to speak with me, and by the time that Transfiguration comes around, he’s caught on to the fact that I’m not going to acknowledge his existence and the two of us are working in stony silence. I get the feeling that Albus wants me to say something and is disappointed by the fact that I keep quiet. I attempt to hide my face behind my short hair and keep my eyes peeled on the mouse we are turning into a turnip.  
  
On the Wednesday after my trip to the hospital wing I have a free period before I have to go to Potions, a free period which I spend trying to find a place to hide from the rest of the Hogwarts population. I’ve almost reached a corner when I spot a head of untidy black hair coming towards me, and, panicking, turn down the first corridor that I lay eyes on. Avoiding Albus is harder than it seems; we have the same classes and we're in the same house, after all. He always seems to know where I am, something I find unsettling and creepy.  
  
Thinking I've evaded Albus yet again, I continue down the hallway. This is what I do when I want to escape the noise in the common room, which often reaches my dorm. The paintings that hang all over Hogwarts absolutely fascinate me. All of these people hanging on the walls containing so much knowledge and yet no one talks to them, no one takes notice of them. The beautiful landscape before it was destroyed and torn down for industrial purposes.  
  
Appearing as if from nowhere, a hand shoots out of a nearby alcove and grabs my arm, pulling me into a classroom, the door is shut behind me. My first instinct is to scream, but a hand is blocking my mouth.  
  
My immediate thoughts are  _serial killer! Rapist!_ but a familiar voice makes me freeze. It isn't a serial killer or a rapist: it's someone much, much worse. I thought I was doing a good job of avoiding Albus, but apparently he has succeeded in capturing me.  
  
"It's me, Albus." His hand leaves my mouth and I whip around to glare at him.  
  
"Are you insane," I snap angrily. _What is wrong with him? In what world is kidnapping someone a good idea!_ It's the dumbest thing he's ever done. There are other ways to get me to talk to him, and cornering me in the common room would've been a good way of accomplishing this without being so creepy and giving me such a fright. _Though to be fair, I have been avoiding him like the plague whenever he’s in sight._  
  
"I wanted to talk to you," Albus says sheepishly.  
  
"So kidnapping me is the solution to that."  
  
"You've been avoiding me. How am I supposed to talk to you when you run the opposite way every time you see me?" _Drat_. I thought he hadn't noticed. He's more observant than he lets on, which might be a problem for me. If he's observant, then how am I going to keep my pregnancy hidden from him?  
  
"I have not been avoiding you," I lie.  
  
"Right, you just like to walk down deserted corridors." It's not like it’s something that I don’t do often, like I said before, if the common room is too loud then I usually end up wandering around the castle looking for peace and quiet.  
  
"Yes, I do!"  
  
"Phina, why have you been avoiding me?" _Well let's see, I'm pregnant with your child, I'm supposed to tell you so that Madam Pomfrey can speak to the both of us and if I don't, then she'll tell you herself._  
  
"I haven't been evading you," I insist. Albus raises an eyebrow at me. "Okay, so maybe I have been. How'd you figure it out?"  
  
"Phina -"  
  
" _Seraphina,"_ I interrupt.  
  
"Right, sorry,  _Seraphina_ , we've been going to the same school for seven years, we've been in the same house for seven years, hell, we've even had the same classes for seven years. I've known you even before we came to Hogwarts." _Yes, Albus, but then we stopped being friends so you can't claim to know me anymore_.  
  
"I'd be a bit of a moron if I didn’t notice one of my classmates, who hasn’t had a problem with me before, all of a sudden start running away from me as soon as she lays eyes on me."  
  
_Who says I don't have a problem with you, Albus?_ Does he honestly think I could forget how he ditched me when we were little? It sounds childish of me to hold a grudge for something that happened when I was a child but I’ve never been able to forgive Albus for what he did.  
  
"I congratulate you on your advanced observation skills," I respond dryly.  
  
"Why?" Albus asks, completely ignoring my previous statement.  
  
"I can't tell you," I reply, cringing at how pathetic that sounds. From the scowl on Albus' face, he agrees with me.  
  
"So, you're avoiding me, but you can't tell me?" Well yes, even though technically I'm supposed to tell him - but Albus doesn't need to know that.  
  
"That's right."  
  
"Are you joking?"  
  
"I never joke." According to other people, I've never been any good at humour. Making jokes just isn't my forte. Sometimes I'll make them accidentally, but when I'm trying to be funny, it never works out.  
  
"You are one of a kind," Albus says, running his hands through his hair in frustration. _Is that a compliment? I think I've just been insulted. Maybe it is a compliment . . . oh who cares!_  
  
I don't understand why Albus is frustrated: it isn't as if he's the one carrying a child that he's going to be pushing out of his . . . manly bits.  
  
_See, I'm not being difficult at all, so why is he frustrated?_  
  
"Well, if you ever decide to share your reasons, I’m relatively easy to find,” Albus says. I open my mouth to say something but he continues speaking. “Can we be friends again?" Albus asks. Friends? I haven’t had a friend in a while: I don't know what friends do. Besides, we've jumped past starting as acquaintances and then becoming friends. Friends don't sleep with each other, friends don't get friends pregnant. Of course, we weren't friends on that night, but still.  
  
"We can try," I say slowly, unsure of what I'm doing. I can't believe I’m agreeing to be his friend. I seem to be full of bad choices this year. First going to the party, drinking and getting pregnant, and now this. _My seventh year at Hogwarts is just going to be jolly fun, don't you think?_  
  
Albus grins happily, and before I know what's happening, his arms are wrapped around me in an awkward hug. I stiffen when he touches me, my arms going rigid at my side. Human contact is a big no-no for me; which is funny considering I'm pregnant. I'm never going to stop using and bringing up the whole "I'm pregnant" thing. It's a valid excuse for most things, which will come in handy when I'll be trying to weasel my way out of Head Girl duties that I don’t want to do.  
  
I pat Albus' back awkwardly after a few moments of me standing there like a stiff board and we stay like this for a few seconds which feel like an eternity. Things can't possibly get any worse.  
  
Oh, but they can.  
  
Just when the hug is stretching to an indecent amount of time, one of Albus' friends burst into the room. _Joy of joys, let's just include more people into this, why don't we!_  
  
"AHA, I knew you had a thing for Albus," his friend exclaims, blue eyes bright with excitement. I recognize him as the tall, blonde one who is always tagging along after the middle Potter. I’ve never bothered to learn his name. I push Albus away from me and feel myself turning red. Blushing isn't something that happens to me very often but when it does, the situation deserves it.  
  
"Give me some credit, my taste isn't this bad," I say, patting my clothes down. Albus glares at me but I shrug, unconcerned. I think I've just been rude, I'm pretty sure I have. I just can't seem to get this whole "being nice" thing to work for me. "Never said that I have to be nice to you, Potter. And who the hell are you, anyway?" I turn to the boy who just burst into the room.  
  
"Lysander, Lysander Scamander," the boy says, grinning at me and holding out his hand. I stare at it with a blank expression: am I supposed to shake it or something? What do I do with this offered hand? I reach out and grab his hand as if it's infected and shake it slowly, cringing at the amount of sweat that’s on it, before dropping it and wiping my hand on my robes.  
  
"I thought that was a given," Albus says, bringing my attention to him again. Am I supposed to already know that I need to be nice in a friendship? How am I supposed to know that! I haven't had friends since I was nine, I don't know what's socially acceptable or any of that stuff!  
  
I can already tell that this friendship is off to a good start.  
  
"Thought wrong, excuse me," I say, pushing past Lysander. I'm almost late for Potions and I need to be on my way. This little chat is heartwarming and everything but now, I must face reality and get back to my studying and making sure that I'm the best Head Girl this school has ever seen. That's not going so well: how many Head Girl's have gotten pregnant while at school? Probably not very many is my guess.  
  
How am I going to tell Albus that I'm pregnant with his child? Especially now that he's my friend, there's got to be books written about this sort of thing happening, right?  
  
Just when I think that the day can't get any worse and I can't possibly get any more humiliated, it does. A second year marches into my Potions class and announces, quite loudly, that Madam Pomfrey needs to see me about my condition.  
  
It sounds as if I'm dying of the bubonic plague or a head tumor.  
  
I blush bright red and stare at my shoes as I leave the dungeons and speed walk to the Hospital Wing. I slam the door shut and look around the room to make sure no one is here with me. It appears empty. _Good_. I don't need anybody telling the entire school about this.  
  
"You wanted to see me, Madam Pomfrey?" I say, as the old matron walks out of her office and makes her way towards me with surprising speed for someone her age.  
  
"Yes dear, I was wondering if you had told Mr. Potter about his child." _About that . . . would it be horrible of me to ask if I can have a week or two to tell Albus about this? No, I have to do this properly, I have to take responsibility, I can't just ask for time extensions just because I don't want to do something._  
  
"I haven't yet, but I will!" I say, once I see the look of disappointment on Madam Pomfrey's face. I just can't wait to tell Albus about this, and can’t help but imagine his face when he's informed that he's having a baby. I just hope he doesn't pass out on the floor in shock, I won't know what to do if he does go unconscious. I’ll probably just give him a few slaps to the face to see if he wakes up.  
  
"Soon, Ms Doyle. I need to see the both of you, tell him soon," Madam Pomfrey says sternly before leaving me alone to worry. She's left no room for argument on the matter. I have to tell him or I have a feeling Madam Pomfrey will tell him.  
  
"You're pregnant with Albus' baby?" a voice says. I jump, startled. I look around at who's in the room with me and almost fall over when I see a girl with brilliant red hair. I thought there was no one in here: apparently I'm not good at searching.  
  
"L-Lily," I manage to gasp out. This is Lily Potter, Albus' sister; she’s got bright red hair, brown eyes and a look of fury on her face that can instill fear even in the bravest man on earth. She knows I'm pregnant. I really don't want to be on the end of one of her hexes. Not only will it not be great for my health, but imagine what would happen to the baby.  
  
What have I ever done to deserve this from the world? Why must karma take out its anger on me? I've never hurt anybody in my life! Well, since it's out in the open, I might as well explain everything I can to Lily as best as possible. It's like ripping off a band-aid.  
  
Except, this time, the pain lasts for nine months instead of a few seconds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was also beta'd by the wonderful Jenna/Lululuna


	3. The Chapter After The Number Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Lily freaks out

"You're pregnant with my brother's kid?" Lily asks me again, as if I'm a moron. I still say nothing, but manage to nod my head slowly, my eyes still wide.  
  
It's a known fact that Lily Potter hates all of the girls who fawn over her brother and everything that those girls do to get his attention. She probably thinks that I'm one of those girls and that I've finally managed to snare the famous Albus Potter. I need to tell her that she's completely wrong; I need to tell her that I'm not like those girls.   
  
Though judging by the look on her face, the chances of improving her opinion of me are really quite low. She looks as if she's going to murder me with her yellow-gloved hands or at the very least hex me really badly. Again, I remind myself that hexing a pregnant woman is not healthy for the baby or even the woman herself. Let's hope that Lily doesn't blast me out of the common room and into the seventeenth century where I would be shamed, shunned, and forced to embroider a scarlet A on the front of my robes.  
  
"L-Lily, I'm not -"  
  
"Finally managed to snag Albus now, have you?" Lily spits out angrily, making her way towards me. "Finally weaseled your way into the family by having his child. Of course he'll want to help you, it's in his nature. I can certainly see why you’re Head Girl; you’re quite clever aren’t you?"  
  
"It's not like that -"  
  
"So what did you do, slip him a love potion? Get him drunk?"  
  
"Well, we were both drunk."  
  
"And so you took advantage of him -"  
  
"Will you shut up and let me say something," I finally snap. It's bad enough that she's assuming the worst about me, but I'm getting annoyed with the fact that I'm not allowed to finish a sentence. Lily stares at me with wide eyes. I can see that she’s not used to being told to shut up – her siblings and cousins are probably the only ones that can get away with telling her to shut her mouth. There's a first time for everything.  
  
"Did you just tell me to shut up?" Her voice rises after each word, her hands curled so tightly that I’m afraid she’s going to pummel me in the face at any second.  
  
"Yes, I did, is there a problem with that?” I demand, my voice sounding a lot stronger than I actually feel. “I thought you would want to know exactly how this came about instead of simply assuming that I’m like those creepy girls who follow Albus around. I don't have any interest in dating Albus, if that's what you're wondering, and I have no interest in getting into his pants . . . at least, anymore than I already have." I take one step at a time towards her. My legs seem to have a mind of their own because I can come up with no other reason as to why I am currently approaching an absolutely livid teenage girl.  
  
"Fine, explain it then," Lily says, gesturing with her hand for me to continue.  
  
“I decided to go to at least one Gryffindor party before my time at Hogwarts ended, plus my mother was harping on about it, so I decided to go to the stupid party just to shut her up. Anyway, I get to the party and your  _charming_  brother shows up drunk out of his mind and says that I don't know how to have fun. So, to prove him wrong, I drank an entire bottle of Firewhiskey, with some Butterbeer in between as suggested by Albus and . . . things happened from there."  
  
Lily snorts. "Wow, smart idea, drinking an entire bottle of Firewhiskey."  
  
"It wasn't my best moment but yes, it was indeed stupid,” I say, grinding my teeth. “And I shouldn't have gotten so offended for being called boring by someone who I don't know very well. Are you satisfied with the story, your highness?"  
  
"If it was any other girl, I wouldn't believe them. But because it's you and you don’t sound particularly stupid, I'll take your word for it. Does my brother know about this?" Lily asks.  
  
"Not exactly."  
  
"Are you planning on telling him?"  
  
"Of course I am!"  
  
"When?"  
  
"I don't know when, whenever the time is right."  
  
"You'll tell him right now then," Lily says, walking around me and opening the door to the corridor. _Does she not trust me when I say that I'll tell Albus, does she think that I'm lying?_ She would be pretty stupid to think I'm lying about something like that, telling the father that he’s going to be a parent is the smart and logical thing to do, because no matter what I may think, I won't be able to raise this child on my own.  
  
"I'm not telling him right now, Lily," I say, refusing to move from my spot.  
  
"Yes, you are," she says grabbing me by the arm and pulling me out of the hospital wing and down the corridor against my will. I try to twist my arm out of her grip but am unsuccessful. For someone so young and small, Lily has a really strong grip. No matter how much I try to slow us down, Lily keeps going.  
  
I ignore the looks that students in the hall give us as she tugs me along, and try to think of what to do.  
  
"Lily, how do you even know where Albus is?" I ask, panting, as I stumble down the moving stairs after her. It has not occurred to her that some of us can't scurry down stairs as fast as she can, especially in my condition.   
  
All of the moving portraits raise their eyebrows and yell at us to slow down before we break our necks. Students hurry to get out of our way as quickly as possible, papers, textbooks, and even wands flying in the air, the wands letting off sparks.  
  
"I have his timetable memorized just in case I need him. He should have just finished his morning Potions class, right after Potions is lunch and where does everybody eat lunch? In the Great Hall," she says, turning down another corridor sharply and making me bang my left shoulder against the corner, hard. I hiss in pain and rub my shoulder to see if it makes the ache go away.  
  
"Why do I have to tell him now?" I whine, sounding childish.  
  
"I'm guessing you didn't just find out that you were pregnant with his child yesterday, judging by your conversation with Madam Pomfrey; you’ve known about this for a while. If you haven't told him in three days then you're most likely trying to put off telling him for as long as you can. Madam Pomfrey has already threatened to tell Albus about his child if you don't, and if she hasn't then she most likely will."  
  
"How do you know all of that?" I ask in bewilderment. I haven't said anything at all and Lily has just assumed -and quite correctly I might add- that I'm putting off telling Albus. She could be a detective.  
  
"It's not that hard really, anyway, since you're putting off telling Albus about his child, I'll be forcing you to tell him now. I'm sorry if my rubber gloves are giving your arm burns," Lily adds, running down the stairs. She shouldn't be apologizing for giving my arm burns; she should be apologizing for the hair that she's most likely ripped out of my arm with those yellow gloves of hers.   
  
I shudder when I think about the things that those gloves have most likely touched and the germs and sickness all over me now. I’m going to take a shower as soon as I can escape the monster that is Lily Potter.     
  
"Lily, let's think this through. Why don’t we tell Albus when the  _entire school isn't present_?”  
  
"Because then you'll avoid me and I won't be able to find you again so that I can force you to tell Albus." Despite what I may think of the other Potter children, my judgment on Lily has been wrong. She is far from the spoiled, innocent girl that I thought she was. She’s absolutely ruthless.  
  
Lily drags me into the Great Hall and navigates her way to the Gryffindor table. We attract stares as we make our way but I can't really blame people. It's not every day they see Lily Potter wearing rubber gloves and dragging the Head Girl behind her. I search around in my head for anything else that might change Lily's mind from forcing me to confess my secret right now. But before I can say anything, Lily has already tapped Albus on the shoulder and he's turning around to face us.  
  
"Albus, Seraphina has something to tell you," Lily says.  
  
"No, actually, I don't," I say through gritted teeth as Lily's grip on my arm tightens.  
  
"Yes, you do."  
  
"No, I do not and even if I did, I wouldn't choose to declare something so life-altering in front of the entire school, since the entire school doesn't need to know," I mutter, glaring at Lily.  
  
"Well, maybe if you'd already told the life-altering news, then you wouldn't be in this situation. And besides, the whole school is going to figure it out anyway. Stupid as some people in this school may be, they're not all idiots."  
  
"I'm sorry for not being able to pop out that news into regular conversation, it's not exactly a subject that comes up very often and I would rather the school figure it out on their own."   
  
"Well -"  
  
"Hold on," Albus interrupts, "let me get this straight. You have news to tell me but you don't want to. And I'm assuming that Lily dragged you here to tell me from her detention otherwise she wouldn't be holding your arm."  
  
"No, that's not it at all, you're imagining things."  
  
"Seraphina."  
  
"You're imagining things."  
  
"Fine," Albus sighs, "hypothetically speaking then, you have something you need to tell me that will apparently change my life but you don't want to and Lily is forcing you to confess but you're not going to no matter how much Lily tries to force this confession out of you.”  
  
The few students who stop to listen to our conversation exchange looks of confusion with one another as they try to figure out what exactly Albus and I are talking about. Albus’ friends look between the two of us as if watching a Quaffle being passed back and forth, their food completely forgotten on their plates. I can feel everyone around leaning towards Albus and I in an attempt to hear as much of our conversation as possible.  
  
"Hypothetically speaking, that would be correct."  
  
"Oh for God's sake, Seraphina!" Lily explodes. "Albus, what Seraphina is trying to tell you is that -"  
  
"Lily needs a tampon!" I blurt out really loudly. “She’s got quite the heavy flow and if the house-elves have to clean up another pair of her ruined, bloody robes they’re going to go on strike . . .” The Gryffindor and Hufflepuff tables go quiet and turn to look at me. The sudden absence of noise attracts even more attention than my outburst and now students from the Ravenclaw and Slytherin tables are turning to see what’s going on as well. Lily is gaping at me with her mouth open and Albus has a look on his face saying he didn't need to know any of that.  
  
I panicked. I hadn't meant to yell out that Lily needed a tampon, it just slipped out. I couldn't let Lily announce to everyone that I'm pregnant and I needed something to say. _What exactly have I done?_ My stupid brain couldn't come up with a better excuse.  
  
"What?!" Lily and Albus say at the same time.  
  
"Lily needs a tampon _right now_ -"  
  
"No, I don't!" Lily says shrilly, turning red in the face.  
  
"Why are you coming to find me if Lily needs a tampon?" Albus says with a disgusted look on his face.  
  
"I don't need a tampon!"  
  
"She thought you might be experimenting with some to see if they could be used in a prank," I say, thinking quickly, "and she wondered if you had any to spare for her. But she didn't want to ask so here I am."  
  
"So she asks you to ask her brother if he has any tampons for her . . . "  
  
"That's correct."  
  
This is going brilliantly.  
  
"Seraphina?"  
  
"Yes, Lily?"  
  
"Shut up," the youngest Potter says through gritted teeth. I send an apologetic smile at the red-faced, fist-clenching girl.  
  
" So this is the life-altering news you were going to tell me?"  
  
"Er, yes? Not having a tampon is an extremely risky situation for a girl, especially when..." I ramble, nodding my head as I make things worse.  
  
"Lily," Albus says, turning to his little sister who seems to be resisting the urge to strangle me. "If you need, er, tampons, maybe you should owl mum instead of asking your  _male_  brother if he has any. Or ask, I don’t know, one of the hundreds of girls in this school, like Seraphina.” He turns to me, green eyes wide with concern. “Are you okay, Seraphina?"  
  
"I'm fine," I hurriedly reply. _Why is he asking me if I'm feeling okay, is something showing? My face might have gone a little white when he mentioned borrowing a tampon from me – I’m not going to need them until the summer, when my baby is due. My baby, oh Merlin… Maybe it's because I'm trying to mouth "I'm sorry" to Lily. Or maybe it's just Albus being Albus and he's just worried about me._  
  
"I'll go owl mum about those . . . tampons right now . . . and maybe some new robes just in case. Seraphina, do you want to come help me deliver the letter?"  
  
"No, I think I'll stay here," I say, inching towards Albus.  
  
"Too bad, you don't have a choice." Lily grabs my arm again and drags me out of the Great Hall. I turn to Albus and mouth "Help me!" before he disappears from view and Lily and I are in the corridor alone again. I'm about to start running because I think she's going to bash my head against the wall but Lily starts talking before I can bolt.  
  
"You just had to yell out that I needed a tampon to the entire school didn't you!" Lily says, slapping me with the rubber gloves that she’s taken off. Lovely, I’m being covered in more germs and sickness. “And the only thing that you thought would’ve made the situation better was by telling the entire school that I have a heavy bloody flow?!”  
  
"Well, sorry, you were -OW- going to tell the entire -OW! Would you stop that, it hurts! You were going to tell the entire bloody school that I'm pregnant." I rub my stinging biceps and glare at Lily whose chest is heaving with anger.  
  
"Why did you say that I was on my period of all things?!" Lily finally exclaims after a few minutes. Her face is slowly going back to its original colour and she's shoved her gloves back on.   
  
"It was the first thing that popped out of my mouth, alright!"  
  
"But of all things -"  
  
"Lily, you know how uncomfortable you feel right now?" I interrupt her. I look her straight in the eye as she nods and wanders up a random staircase.   
  
"That's exactly how I would feel if you had just blurted to the entire school that I'm with child," I say, following her up towards a flight of tricky stairs. We wait for them to stop moving and then continue walking. "I would be so humiliated right now. You feel embarrassed, right?"  
  
Lily nods her head, trailing her fingers along the banister. I catch my breath for a moment, and then continue talking. "That's exactly how I would've felt. Not only that, but I'd also be judged by people as the idiot Head Girl who can't control herself. I'd probably want to hit you just like you were slapping me with those gloves just now. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I would have hit you in the face."  
  
"I'm so sorry Seraphina, I didn't think of how you would feel. I just wanted Albus to know the truth, I didn't actually think what effect it would have on you," Lily says, stopping outside of the hospital wing door and turning to me. She brushes a piece of red hair behind her ear, where a strand snags on one of her three earlobe studs.   
  
"When I say that I'm going to tell him, I mean it. I'm not going to hide this from Albus just because I don't want to inform him – he needs to know. It would be cowardly and that's not how Gryffindor’s are." I give her a small smile. Lily’s face splits into a huge grin before throwing her arms around my middle and hugging me tightly.  
  
I stand stiffly with my arms raised at my sides, unsure of what to do. I've never had people willingly hug me before so this is new for me. After a few moments of Lily still hugging me, I pat her back awkwardly. Lily finally releases me and turns towards the door, twisting the handle and sliding her body inside.  
  
"See you later, Seraphina. And you better tell Albus that you're pregnant," Lily says, then disappears into the hospital wing and leaves me standing there alone.  
  
I slowly make my way back down to the Great Hall thinking of what just happened in the past half hour or so. My behavior seems strange, even to me. Never once in my life have I ever panicked for what to say and never have I ever been put in a situation where I didn’t have time to properly think about my reaction. This afternoon was certainly a strange one.  
  
I don't know if the pregnancy is responsible, but something is changing. My first six years at Hogwarts were nowhere near as interesting as these past few days have been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> beta'd by the awesome Jenna/Lululuna


	4. Chapter the Fourth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A serious discussion takes place

Since the incident in the Great Hall, Lily has taken to keeping me company. I thought her presence would bother me because I don't usually socialize with people but surprisingly, I find that I like having Lily around. It’s refreshing to be with somebody who speaks her mind and doesn't care what people think. At least with Lily, I'll know where I stand with her because she'll always tell me the truth.  
  
That being said, I sometimes find myself just wanting to strangle the girl and demand some alone time. You'd think the fact that because we're in different years we wouldn't be able to see each other all that often, but that's not the case at all.  
  
Even though she's a fifth year, Lily somehow manages to find time to mingle with people and to follow me around asking constant questions. She's been pestering me to tell Albus about my pregnancy every day and if it weren't for the fact that if Lily went away I'd miss her . . . well, to some extent, then I would've told her to bugger off by now.  
  
It's a Friday evening and I'm spending it sitting next to Albus and his friends at the feast. He's made an attempt to include me in the conversation but given the fact that I'm not really all that interested in what they're talking about, I've been given up on. At this point, I'm pretty much just taking up space, although if any of the boys mind my silent presence, they're not showing it.  
  
I've been sitting here and eating my food quietly, lost in my own thoughts. Once I finish with my food, I’m thinking of excusing myself to visit the library when the boys get onto the topic of Quidditch. I'm not the biggest fan of Quidditch but I still know a lot about it -just like every other witch or wizard out there. Besides, considering my family’s interests, it's almost mandatory to have some knowledge about the sport.  
  
"There is no way that the Kenmare Kestrels are going to win the League Cup," Lysander says, staring at Albus incredulously.  
  
"You've got to be mad to actually think that, Al," Lorcan, Lysander's twin brother, says.  
  
"I'm telling you, they'll pull through to the top of the league, you just wait and see."  
  
"Do you hear this lad?" Lorcan says looking at Lysander. "Thinks the Kestrels will be top of the league, absolutely bonkers this one!"  
  
"Actually, if we were to look at the statistics of the team and their previous games, you'll notice a certain pattern appears,” I say, joining the conversation without really noticing. “The Kestrels lose one year and then they win the next, I'm not sure how that works but that's what happens. If you were to look at their games last year, they lost all of them -even the one against the Cannons, and they're the worst team out there. If we were to go by what has happened in previous years, the Kestrels should win this year." It takes me a moment to notice the silence that has ensued.  
  
Everyone nearby has stopped talking and is staring at me with wide eyes and their mouths open. It's almost as if everyone thought that I didn't know anything about Quidditch. I may think it a stupid sport at times, even if it is interesting to watch, but I'd be a shame to the magical community if I didn't know anything about Quidditch. I look around at everyone's stunned faces and raise an eyebrow in response to their shock.  
  
"Something wrong?"  
  
"You know about Quidditch?" Lorcan asks. He hasn't blinked in the last minute. I'm starting to worry about how dry his eyes are getting.  
  
"Well of course I do, just because I'm not infatuated with it doesn't mean that I don't know anything about it."  
  
"Have you read Quidditch Through the Ages?" Lysander asks, excitement evident in his voice.  
  
"I can quote the book to you right now, word for word, paragraph by paragraph, page by page if you want me to," I reply, beginning to zip up my school bag. The conversation has just gotten quite boring, in fact, it's not much of a conversation anymore, it's more just people gaping stupidly at me.  
  
"That's not possible," Albus says, finally speaking up. It seems that he's finally found his voice after his shock. Nice of him to join us.  
  
"Oh, it's quite possible, see I have a -" I begin to say but am cut off by Lily, who comes running towards me with her robes billowing behind her.  
  
"SERAPHINA!" she yells, as she closes the distance between us. Once Lily stops in front of me, she bends over, panting and trying to catch her breath. Her robes are falling off of her shoulders and hanging by her elbows and her skirt is slightly tilted so that one side is longer than the other. Lily's tie is thrown over one shoulder and her blouse is untucked, the laces of her shoes are undone and I'm amazed that she hasn't tripped during what was clearly a search for me. I can't help but smile at her disheveled appearance.  
  
"Yes, Lily?" I ask her, once she's righted herself and has caught her breath.  
  
"McGonagall wants to see you in her office about the fact that you're pre-I mean, she wants to see you about the thing," Lily says, quickly amending her words. "I was on my way to Astronomy when she stopped me to tell you that you had to see her. I had to run all the way from the Astronomy Tower to down here. You better hurry, she'll be waiting for you in her office."  
  
"Thanks so much, Lily," I say getting up and grabbing my bag.  
  
"I'll see you whenever boys," I say nodding towards Albus, Lorcan and Lysander before turning around and walking away.   
  
The first time I had spent time with Albus and his friends the other day had turned out a little awkward. Having had no idea how to say excuse myself, I had just said, "I'll see you whenever boys." At first they'd protested that that wasn't a proper goodbye which lasted in a fifteen minute debate between the four of us, but as I refused to say goodbye any other way, they'd given in. It hasn't been long but it's almost tradition now to say goodbye that way.  
  
I make my way out of the Great Hall and through the hallways as fast as I possibly can. If there's one thing that Professor McGonagall hates, it’s when people are late. It gets on her nerves and then she's not happy when she's talking to you, which is pretty unnerving.  
  
I pass by very few people in the corridors as most people are down to dinner or heading to the Great Hall: a few fifth years are climbing towards the Astronomy Tower for their lesson. I'm the only one taking the route to the Headmistress's office. Once I catch sight of the statue that stands in front of the moving stairs, I break into a jog.  
  
Panting, I give the gargoyle the password and it jumps aside to reveal the stairs that it protects. I step onto the stairs and they begin to move in a spiral movement, sending me towards McGonagall's office. Once McGonagall says to enter, I open the door and slowly walk in.  
  
It appears that McGonagall has already been talking to a student and has just finished up with them. I wonder what the strange student in Slytherin robes could have possibly done to land themselves a meeting with the Headmistress. The student takes one look at me when I enter and quickly leaves, shutting the door behind him. I stare at the closed door for a moment before sitting down and facing McGonagall.  
  
"If you don't mind me asking Professor, who exactly is that?" I ask, setting down my bag and leaning back.  
  
"That was a student," she says, rubbing her eyes tiredly. I nod but don't ask any more questions since it probably isn't my business but I have noticed that she used the word was instead of is.  
  
"They were just recently expelled," McGonagall adds, and I can't help but start a little in surprise. Never has it occurred to me that there are people at Hogwarts who could be expelled. It just seemed like something impossible to me. After all, what can someone possibly do that would land them an expulsion from Hogwarts? I don't ask why the student has been expelled though and McGonagall offers no more information. Instead, she gets straight to the point of why she wants to see me.  
  
"Ms Doyle, I've been told by Madam Pomfrey of your situation," McGonagall says, and I can't help but look down at my knees in shame. I'm sure that McGonagall is going to expel me, I wouldn't blame her. Probably getting pregnant is actual grounds for expulsion after all. I'm setting the worst example for everyone in the younger years. What kind of a role model is a Head Girl who gets pregnant at seventeen?  
  
"We need to talk about your options," McGonagall says, completely surprising me. This isn't what I expected to happen at all.  
  
"My options?"  
  
"Yes, your options. If you do not wish to have the baby, you may always choose to abort the unborn child," I frown. I've never really thought about abortion and I would consider it unfair to my unborn child to get rid of it just because I made a stupid choice. I know that this is the right choice for some women, but it isn’t the right choice for me. If I am unfit to be a parent then I want my child to go to a family who can give him or her what I cannot.  
  
"If you choose to have the child, you can set it up for adoption or you can keep it," McGonagall says and waits for me to give her an answer.  
  
"I'm not having an abortion," I immediately say. "I will think about setting it up for adoption though."  
  
"In that case, we need to talk about making arrangements for you," McGonagall says, taking out a piece of parchment. My frown deepens as I have no idea what she's talking about when she says arrangements.  
  
"What do you mean by 'arrangements?'"  
  
"Well, arrangements for you to leave Hogwarts of course." My heart stops for a second when I hear her say that. My mouth drops open in horror and I stare at her with my eyes wide. She can't be serious? Does she honestly think that I'm going to leave Hogwarts? There is no way that I am not getting my education.  
  
Unless Professor McGonagall is expelling me, there is no way that I'm leaving school. School and this baby are all I have, and there’s no chance I could choose between them.  
  
"What do you mean leave Hogwarts? I'm not going to say goodbye to Hogwarts." I say a bit too sharply. McGonagall raises an eyebrow at me and I add, "Professor."  
  
"Ms Doyle, pregnancy changes the body and you will not always be very comfortable. I thought it would be best for you if you were to stay at home."  
  
"I'm not going anywhere, Professor."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Yes," I say firmly. "I'm positive."  
  
"This is the last time that I make this offer Ms Doyle, if you refuse I cannot give it to you again, you will be forced to finish Hogwarts no matter what, unless you're in labor. It will be much harder to leave later in the year when your N.E.W.T.s are coming closer." She looks at me for a long moment before nodding her head after I don't say anything.  
  
"Onto my last subject, have you told Albus yet? Your family?"  
  
"Well, about that," I say, fidgeting uncomfortably and looking anywhere but at McGonagall.  
  
"Ms Doyle," she says as a warning.  
  
"I just think that it’s better to tell my family of my situation in person instead of simply sending them an owl. I promise I'll tell Albus, it's just that I don't know how to bring the subject up in conversation and it will be extremely awkward. Please give me some time, Lily knows and she's been hanging around me, helping me out."  
  
"Ms Potter knows?" McGonagall asks surprised. "I thought she would've dealt with you the way that she usually does when faced with the girls who  . . . are interested in her brother." Clearly Al’s female suitors and Lily’s antics are common knowledge even to faculty members.   
  
"She was about to but I managed to convince her that I'm not like that," I say with a grin. It quickly goes away when the thought of losing my Head Girl position enters my mind.  
  
"Will you take away my badge, Professor?" I ask, dreading the answer. I almost fall out of my chair in shock at McGonagall's response though. It's the opposite of what I'm expecting, she's been surprising me with her responses throughout this entire meeting.  
  
"Ms Doyle, I've never gotten a complaint about you, you've never gotten detention and your marks have been some of the best I've ever seen since Hermione Granger attended this school herself." I can't help but blush at the compliment. It's the nicest thing anyone's ever told me and it's big considering that Mrs Granger is practically a genius.  
  
"This is your first mistake ever, and while it is huge, I will not take away your Head Girl position unless you want me to because you think that you cannot handle the stress and work that goes with it." I almost start cheering and dancing right there and then when I hear what McGonagall says. I get to keep my badge, this is great, of course, there will be lots of work but I'm positive that I can handle it.  
  
"I'm warning you though Ms Doyle, this is a huge mistake that you've made and if you put another toe out of line, I will be forced to take your badge whether I like it or not. I'm letting you off easy and students will be angry that there's no punishment for breaking a school decree. If you break another rule, I will have no choice but to strip you of your Head Girl position, understand?" McGonagall says, not looking away from me. It's as if she's trying to force the full force of what she's said into me. She shouldn't have worried, I understand perfectly well.  
  
If I break another rule or let my marks dip, I will lose my badge and there's nothing that I'll be able to do about it.  
  
“Professor, may I ask exactly what regulations I have broken?”  
  
“Ms Doyle, we have boys and girls sleep in separate dorms because we wish to prevent something like your pregnancy from happening. I trust my students but even the smartest pupils sometimes make mistakes and not everyone in the castle has extensive knowledge on the subject of having safe intercourse –something that I am hoping to change,” she adds with a sigh.  
  
  
"I understand perfectly, Professor," I reply, looking right back into McGonagall's eyes. She nods her head in satisfaction and looks down at her desk that's littered with parchment. This is clearly a dismissal, my meeting with her is over.  
  
"You may leave then, Ms Doyle," she says, and I gather my bag and make for the door. I stop and turn when McGonagall calls for my attention once more.  
  
“Ms Doyle, I know from previous meetings that you prefer to keep your emotions and teenage urges in control so I was quite astonished to hear from Madame Pomfrey of your predicament. I hope there was no alcohol involved,” McGonagall says with a knowing look in her eyes that I don’t like.   
  
I open and close my mouth several times as I attempt to come up with an answer but McGonagall doesn’t give me time to properly respond before she goes on to say, “Yes, well, if alcohol had been present I’m sure you would do your best to prevent any intoxicating drinks from entering school grounds from this moment on.”  
  
“Yes, Professor,” I reply and clear my throat before scurrying out of McGonagall’s office and.  
  
I sigh as I step off of the moving staircase once it reaches the bottom and make my way up to Gryffindor Tower alone. The falling snow outside catches my attention and I stop and stare at it in front of one of the many huge windows around Hogwarts.  
  
It's almost Christmas break, so I'll be going home soon to spend time with my family. How am I going to tell mum what's happened? Am I even going to tell her? I probably won't tell her. There's no point in ruining the holidays for everyone in my family. I'll let her find out the same day that the Potters do.  
  
I encounter no one on my way to Gryffindor Tower and once I get into the common room, I head up to my dorm and find that Lily has already made herself at home on my bed. She's sprawled out on it reading one of my books and eating a bar of chocolate that I'm sure is part of my secret stash. I'm too worried to get angry at her for snooping through my things. She's become family anyways, what's the point if she looks through my stuff? It isn't as if I have anything incriminating.  
  
"How did everything go?" Lily asks as soon as she catches sight of me.  
  
"Let's put it this way, if I put a toe out of line, I am deeply done for," I say sighing, and throwing myself next to her on my bed.  
  
"Don't worry Seraphina, you'll always have me to help you out," Lily says, giving me a sympathetic smile and a comforting pat on the back.  
  
"Thanks Lily, at least I know I can count on you," I say sighing again. "What are you reading?"  
  
I look over at the book that she's holding in her hands but can't see the cover. I'm not sure which book of mine's it is but it looks as if Lily's enjoying it. She's already halfway done with it.  
  
"Oh just one of your romance novels," I freeze when Lily says that. One of my romance novels, meaning, she's already seen the other six that I have.  
  
Well, I own nothing incriminating . . . except for romance novels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, beta'd by the lovely Lululuna/Jenna


	5. Chapter the Fifth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And Rose joins the club

Nothing new has happened in the few weeks since my meeting with McGonagall, something I’m grateful for. The last thing I need is for more drama to come into my life. Lily has been at my beck and call, something that I feel horrible about, even though I never asked her to be. Somehow, whenever I think of Lily and how I need her for something, she has a knack for showing up right away.

She’s been helping me decide whether I should put the baby up for adoption or keep it, the old fashioned way. We made a list of pros and cons for each situation. The only problem with pro and con lists is that I’ve ended up having an argument written down on paper which makes the decision about ten times harder. If I keep the baby, at least I’ll know that it’s going to be in good hands, but at the same time, I have nothing to offer a child. I know nothing about taking care of a baby, I don’t have a job to support us with, and I don’t want to have to use anybody else’s money to support my own child. It sounds cold when I say it, but being a seventeen-year-old mum makes it difficult to pursue a career. How am I supposed to provide for a fragile baby when I’m not even independent enough to take care of myself?

I’ve thought long and hard about where to hide my list, because if I leave it in the dorm, someone might find it by accident, but if I leave it in my bag, it might fall out by accident. The only option that I’m left with is shoving it in my bra since no one will go looking for it there.

Since I’ve been around Lily so much, Albus has gotten a bit suspicious as to why his little sister (who doesn’t like most of the girls at school) and the mother of his future child (the child that he still doesn’t know about), are all of a sudden best friends. He never says anything about our sudden friendship, but I know that he’s wondering what exactly is happening by the way that he stares at us whenever we talk together. He’s caught on to the fact that we’re hiding something from him as well because we have a tendency to speak in code about the situation whenever he’s around.

“I still think you should keep the puppy,” Lily says at the feast one night, shoving another forkful of roast in her mouth and chewing enthusiastically. I stare at her in disgust and try to force her to stop eating like an animal with my mind, unfortunately I am not a Legilimens. She continues to chew with her mouth open.

“My God woman, it’s like you were raised by cavemen or something,” I say as I eat a spoonful of my own rice. I grimace: the rice tastes so bland. I manage to force down one more mouthful before giving up. _Have the house elves been trying a new way of making rice or something? Because I don’t remember it tasting this way._

“You know what will make this rice taste even better?” I tell Lily, grabbing the yellow bottle to my right and squirting it all over my plate. “Mustard.”

“That’s gross, how can you eat that!” Lily cries, staring at me in horror as I eat my rice covered with mustard. It tastes absolutely delicious. _How come I’ve never eaten all of my food with mustard all over it, this is so good!_

“Lily, you’ve got to try this,” I say through a mouthful of food.

“No thanks, I think I’ll stick to decent food,” Lily says, grabbing the bowl of mashed potatoes closest to her. We are finishing our dinner and diving into our desserts when Rose shows up, out of breath and dishevelled.

“Lily, I’ve been looking for you!” she yells as she approaches. Rose plops down next to Lily, grabs some chocolate ice cream, and digs in. “Mum wants to know what you wanted for Christmas.” She licks her ice-cream, accidentally smearing some across both her cheeks.  “She told me to be subtle and trick you into telling me so that you’ll be surprised when you get what you want on Christmas day, but you know me, I’m not one for beating around the bush. Say, Seraphina, have you gained any weight?” Rose adds, once she catches sight of me. I look down at myself in horror when I hear her statement. Have I gotten fat? Have I gained weight? Oh my God, what if I’m practically bursting out of my clothes and I just don’t know it?!

If Rose thinks I’m fat, that obviously means that I’m showing already. It also means that I’ll most likely have to get some new clothes soon: otherwise I won’t be able to fit myself into the robes that I have right now. Rose is actually doing me a huge favour. It’s better if she notices rather than Albus.

This is the difference between Rose and Albus I notice, while Rose has no problem voicing her observations, Albus will probably just keep quiet about it until I feel comfortable talking about it. But maybe I’m being too easy on him, chances are he won’t even notice that I’ve gained weight until I look like a balloon.

“Rose, stop talking rubbish, Seraphina hasn’t gained any weight. I think you need to get your eyes checked or something, dearest cousin of mine,” Lily replies, cool as a cucumber. I’ve gotta hand it to her, she’s a master in the art of lying. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stay that calm when I’m lying to people.

Rose stares at me intently, looks me up and down. She looks at my face and then she concentrates on my stomach. Finally, she looks down and stares at the bowl full of chocolate pudding and cheesecake. She brings her gaze back up to my eyes, pops a gummy worm in her mouth and then calmly says:

“You’re pregnant, aren’t you?”

Bloody hell, what is this?! Am I wearing some sort of sign over my head that’s flashing with the words ‘I’M PREGNANT!’? There is no other rational reason that everyone could be figuring it out this fast. Something has to be giving me away because this is just not possible.

“How on earth did you figure it out?” I cry, almost throwing my arms up in frustration.

“I don’t know, something about you just screamed pregnant, plus your tummy is bulging a little bit and you’re eating _cheesecake with chocolate pudding_ ,” Rose says, staring pointedly at my bowl. “And not to brag or anything, but I’ve had quite a bit of experience with pregnant women in our family. Our Aunt Audrey gave birth to twins.”

I pull my dessert towards me protectively and hide it from view by wrapping my arms around it. If people have a problem with the way that I eat my food, they can take it up with the Department of I Don’t Care.

“Out with it then, who’s the father?” Rose asks. It’s incredible how she’s so calm about this. She acts like she almost expected this to happen.

“I’m not telling you who the father is,” I say to Rose. She’ll probably start plotting ways to murder me like Lily did before I interrupted her and explained everything a few weeks ago.

“Oh come on, it’s like I’m going to hunt them down and then drop obvious hints about the situation, or act like I know something that they don’t,” Rose cries. She’s awfully specific for someone who claims that they’ll keep quiet about who the father of my child is. Now I don’t want to tell Rose who it is even more because I’m afraid that she’ll do everything that she just said she wouldn’t. That and she’s attracting the attention of everyone nearby.

“Hello, Albus!” Rose says, smiling at her cousin who’s standing right behind me. He drops his bag onto the bench and takes the seat next to me. He’s missed most of dinner and dessert is going to disappear pretty soon. I have a feeling I’ll catch Albus out of bed when I go patrolling tonight. I’ll just have to insist that the Head Boy and I split up to do our rounds. Hopefully, I won’t come off as suspicious and said Head Boy will agree with me.

“What are you guys talking about?” Albus says, grabbing my bowl of cheesecake and chocolate pudding and eating it. I stare at him in horror and watch as my food slowly disappears.

“Oh, we were just talking about who the fa-I mean, nothing, just discussing Seraphina’s food choices,” Rose says instead after I give a small shake of my head. I tilt my head towards Albus, look down at my stomach and over to him a few times until Rose gets the message. Her eyes widen in understanding and she looks between Albus and I frantically.

I almost groan and slap a hand to my face at how suspicious Rose is acting.

“I told you that was good!” I say to Rose to distract Albus. Rose rolls her eyes at me and drops the topic of the fact that I eat strange things now.

“Is there something that I should know about?” Albus asks, looking between Lily, Rose and I suspiciously. We all say no at the same time, which only makes Albus even warier of us. Thank God I don’t plan on being an Auror when I’m out of school: I’d be horrible at it.

“Rose, can Seraphina and I talk to you?” Lily says, and without waiting for an answer she grabs Rose by the arm and drags her out of the Great Hall with me trailing behind them, wishing I had thought to grab more cheesecake. I expect Lily to stop outside of the Great Hall but she keeps walking past the students walking around the corridor.  In no time, we’re standing in front of the Fat Lady and Lily is giving her the password.

Lily doesn’t stop in the common room, even though it’s empty, but instead drags poor Rose –who’s practically falling over herself trying to keep up with Lily– into my dorm. After making sure that none of my other dorm mates are hiding anywhere, Lily shuts the door, locks it and turns to Rose with a businesslike expression on her face.

“How did this happen?” Rose finally bursts out, staring at me with wide eyes. And finally I see the shock that she was masking before.

“Do you want the sarcastic version, the scientific version or just the story of how I ended up like this?” I ask.

“Seraphina.”

“Alright then, real version it is,” I say, and take a seat on my bed with my legs crossed. I don’t put in too many details when I tell the story but I do tell Rose that it had something to do with being drunk and stupid and I finish off with the fact that I still haven’t told Albus. Sweet Mother of Christ, how am I going to bring this up in random conversation with Albus? I can’t very well sit him down and go, “well, I’m carrying your spawn and you better deal with it!”

“Seraphina, I may not know you personally but I do know what type of person that you are and how you act and this just doesn’t seem like something you would do. Why did you get drunk anyway? You’re always so against parties and alcohol. I’d think you’d rather break all of the bones in your body before getting drunk and acting stupid,” Rose says, looking confused. She’s the only one who’s asked me why I decided to drink, even Lily didn’t question it. “And don’t give me some crap about how your mum told you to go out and be social.”

Well then.

“I just . . . I hate people telling me that I can’t do something because I’m not good enough, or smart enough, or pretty enough, or because I’m too uptight. Every time someone tells me I can’t do something, because I don’t have what it takes, I have this urge to prove them wrong, I _have_ to prove them wrong. It’s like I have to show that I’m good enough,” I say all in one breath, fists clenched by my side. I hate this, I hate that I have opened up to Rose and Lily like this. I have spent years making sure that everyone knows as little about me as possible, only to break that promise right now. “I don’t know how to explain it really; this is the best that I can come up with. But, the point is, when Albus said that I didn’t know how to have fun or implied that I couldn’t let loose, I wanted to prove that he was wrong. And even though he never said anything about me never drinking, I’m pretty sure that that is what he was getting at.”

“Damn,” Lily whispers. She’s looking at me as if I’ve gotten a whole lot more complicated and like there’s a layer to me that she’s never seen before. I don’t think it’s really sunk into Lily before that I am an actual human girl and not a pregnant robot.

“What?”

“I just never realized that you had insecurities like every other girl here,” Lily says. What does she mean insecurities, I’m not insecure. At least, I don’t think I’m insecure.

“I mean that you’re obviously afraid of the fact that you’ll never be good enough so you’re constantly showing people that you are,” Lily adds when she sees my confused expression. “I just always thought of you as Seraphina, you’re one of the strongest people I know. It has never occurred to me that you had a weak part to you because you never show it to the world.”

“Lily, you barely know me,” I point out.

“Okay, well from what I’ve seen of you from the last few years, you looked tough. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you get frustrated or annoyed or flustered, you always seem to have everything under control and you’re never overwhelmed when everyone else is.”

“That’s because I’m organized and everyone else is not,” I reply. It seems that we’ve moved on from my therapy session and onto a less serious topic.

“So what are you going to do about Albus? Are you going to keep the bab-” Rose asks, but Lily slaps a hand over her mouth as the door opens and one of my roommates walks in. She stares at us in confusion and walks around us to get whatever she needs, she grabs a textbook and then bolts out of the room again, slamming the door behind her. I relax and turn back to Rose; I finally shrug and reply,

“I can honestly say that I have no idea,” I finally answer. This is one of the only times that I don’t know what to do. There have been very few times in my life where I’ve been stuck in a situation with no solution.

“You could always, oh, I don’t know, _tell him_ ,” Lily says.

“Albus is a good person Seraphina, he’s not going to run for the hills if you tell him that you’re pregnant,” Rose says, putting her arms around me. “Even when we were kids and one of us accidentally broke something, everyone else would run and hide, but Albus always stayed behind to clean up the mess and tell an adult, it’s just who he is. I’m sure he’s going to support you no matter what decision you make.”

And for some reason, that makes me feel better. It’s almost as if some kind of worry is taken off of my shoulders at Rose’s words. But I can’t help but feel that sticking around to support your pregnant friend is a lot more responsibility than cleaning up broken furniture.

“This room is too stuffy, I need to walk around, I feel like someone’s going to walk in on us any second” I say and head for the door. Without saying a word, Rose and Lily file out behind me and we make our way down to the common room and out of the portrait hole. The three of us walk around deserted corridors. I can hear the loud voices of students below us as they run to wherever they’re needed but this is an area near the common room that is generally ignored by almost everyone. There’s not much here, no classroom, only painting after painting crowding the walls.

“Seraphina, what are you going to do about the baby? Are you going to keep it or set it up for adoption?” Rose asks as we take a seat on a window ledge.

“I don’t know, both decisions are going to have effects on me,” I reply, leaning my head on the wall behind me. We sit there quietly: none of us know what to say, and really, what is there to say?

“You know who would be able to help you with this decision?” Lily asks, breaking the silence. I have a feeling that I know what her answer is going to be to that question.

“Albus, he is the baby’s father after all and as someone who contributed to making the fetus currently living inside of you I think he has a responsibility to help.”

Unfortunately, she’s right. I can’t make any decision without input from Albus. He should at least have some say in what is going to happen and if I make a choice about the baby without him, I’ll feel guilty about it. What if he decides that he wants nothing to do with me though? What if he gets so freaked out that he doesn’t want anything to do with me and I’m left to deal with this alone?

My thoughts must be showing on my face because Rose says, “If you’re worried about Albus ditching you after you give him the big news, then you’re not as smart as I think you are, Seraphina. If you know anything about Albus, you should know that he doesn’t abandon those he cares about, no matter what happens.”

Rose is right as well, I may not know Albus that well, or for as long as his family and relatives have, but I do know that he’s not one to simply ditch his friends or family if things get tough with them. Albus isn’t one of those people, he’ll probably want to help me out in any way that he can.

“Seraphina, I know that you probably want to kill me by now for asking this but I’m serious this time, when are you going to tell Albus that you are pregnant. You can’t just keep putting this off, one way or another you’ve got to tell him, and either way, the results will be the same. You might as well get it over with as soon as possible.”

“I’ll tell him, I will,” I add, when I see the skeptical look on Lily’s face. “I’ll tell him before we leave for Christmas break.”

I plan on telling Albus before Christmas break - that much I’m certain of. I can try and put this off as much as I want, but I’d be an idiot to not tell him before we leave for holidays. At least if I tell him now he’ll have time to think over everything during break and decide what he wants to say to me and stuff. Yeah, this is definitely for the best. After I tell Albus there’s only my parents left to inform. If I keep this up, my parents won’t know about me being pregnant until I’m actually at St. Mungo’s.

We sit in silence again and look out the window at the school ground and watch as it gets darker outside as time passes on. Moonlight comes through the window and lights up our dark corridor, casting shadows everywhere. The torches in the hallways cast scary shadows of everything.

I feel so calm, everything is so peaceful. For once, I’m not surrounded by people and there are no loud noises. It feels like nothing can disturb the peace here. It’s nice. I never thought I’d say this, but I enjoy having someone to talk to. I like the fact that I’m sitting here with Lily, who I can now call a friend, and Rose, who seems to be on the way to being my friend.

Friends.

That’s got a nice sound, doesn’t it? There’s something nagging at me though, I feel like I should be somewhere, like I should remember something, but for the life of me I can’t think about what it is. I feel so sleepy that I can’t be bothered to care about where I’m supposed to be.

I’ve almost drifted off to sleep right where I’m sitting when Lily’s voice rouses me, “Don’t you have patrols tonight with the Head Boy?”

I groan when I realize that she is in fact right and Wesley Fisher, the most annoying soul to ever grace this planet, and, unfortunately, my current partner in Head business, is probably waiting for me to show up as we speak. Tonight of all nights I have to patrol the castle when what I really want to do is sleep. I jump off of the ledge, rub my eyes to get the sleep out and make my way down to the doors of the Great Hall to meet up with Wesley. Lily and Rose go the opposite direction and make their way up to Gryffindor Tower so that they won’t get caught outside after curfew.

This is going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was beta'd by the awesome Lululuna/Jenna (in case you didn't already know). i've got a couple more chapters written out for the story but she hasn't looked over them yet so they'll only come after she's given me the okay.


	6. Chapter Six

“Seraphina, you’re late,” Wesley says when he sees me. I sigh, roll my eyes and bite back the insult that is on the tip of my tongue. If there is one person on this planet who’s worse than I am, it’s Wesley Fisher. I at least know how to use sarcasm, but the bloke takes everything literally. He’s like the Hogwarts version of Sheldon Cooper, except I’m smarter than him.  
  
“Wesley, I am one minute late, what exactly are you going to do about that?” I ask him, with a raised eyebrow. He can complain about how I’m late and rude all he wants, but the truth is he can’t do anything about it. He’s tried complaining to Professor McGonagall but even she doesn’t take his complaints seriously anymore.  
  
He opens and closes his mouth, trying to think of an answer while looking very much like a fish, but can’t come up with anything. He shuts his mouth and turns an alarming shade of red. Instead, he settles on what is usually a sore point with females.  
  
“Seraphina, have you gained weight?” Wesley asks, looking me up and down. I roll my eyes and look down at myself in mock surprise.  
  
“Does it seem like I’ve gained weight, Wesley?” I ask him, cocking my head to the side.  
  
“Yes, it does.”  
  
“Then I suppose I’ve gained weight,” I reply shrugging. I need some new clothes and soon, I would prefer that people didn’t know I was pregnant until I could no longer hide it. “Wesley, can we split up for rounds today? We’ll cover more ground if we split up, and quite frankly, I don’t really fancy spending a couple of hours with you.”  
  
“Where are we going to meet up,” he asks me, looking mildly offended. It seems that the idea of someone not wanting to spend time with him is absurd. I feel like I should tell Wesley that the majority of the people in this school don’t like spending time with him. Maybe I shouldn’t, ignorance is bliss and all that.  
  
“We’ll meet up at the kitchen,” I reply. Without another word, Wesley turns to his right and takes the stairs upwards. I guess I’ll be taking downstairs then. I turn to the corridor on my left and begin my slow and boring patrol. I slowly make my way down the corridor, looking in classrooms for any students breaking curfew. I talk to a few of the paintings that haven’t gone to sleep yet and catch up on Hogwarts news.  
  
I poke my head into dusty broom cupboards and begin to wonder, yet again, what on earth is so very romantic about them. The closets are small, full of cleaning equipment and dusty. It’s cramped with just one person standing in the place, how on earth two people fit in them, I’ll never know. You would be extremely close together, practically pressed up against each other, now that I think about it though, that may be the point.  
  
I will never understand how the minds of my fellow teenagers work; I would rather wear dirty clothes for a month than be in a broom closet with someone of the opposite gender.  
  
Some of the corridors are dark and have no windows, I’m forced to light my wand so that I can see and end up disturbing some sleeping paintings. They shout some very vulgar things at me, most of which I choose to ignore since this is the usual response to being woken up, painting or not. It’s usually in these corridors that I find couples hidden in classrooms or coming out of secret passageways.  
  
The suits of armor lining the corridors don’t help either. During the day, they’re simply decoration, but during the night, they’re downright creepy. They become even scarier whenever they move and a loud creak echoes in the empty corridor. You know what’s making the door but your mind starts to think, “Nah, that’s boring, how about we think of something else that makes that noises and it’s a hundred times more terrifying.”  
  
I open the door to yet another classroom and sigh when I see the half-naked couple in it. It’s times like this when I really hate being Head Girl. I dislike watching people kiss in public –I dislike watching people hold hands in public but that’s not the point- but walking in on them getting it on is even more unpleasant, and far more disturbing.   
  
I hold the door open as the couple scurry out, both bright red in the face, and both clutching their clothes to them. “Detention for both of you, you will help Filch on Saturday at six,” I say, pointing to the girl, “and you will help Filch on Sunday at two.”  
  
“You’re making us do the detentions at separate times, why not make as do them at the same time,” the boy says, giving me a look that suggests he thinks I’m an absolute idiot. Does he think I was born yesterday or something?   
  
“You want me to give you and your girlfriend detention at the same time, with Filch, who will most likely lock you up in a room together, alone. Now you tell me what’s going to happen,” I say. The boy turns an even brighter red and mumbles a few swear words under his breath. “That’s right, you’re going to go and do exactly what you I just interrupted.”  
  
The couple turns to walk away and while the boy keeps walking, I pull the girl back to me to talk to her. “Let me give you some advice, you really do not want to do what you were planning on doing, believe me. Something could happen and you could end up affecting your life.”  
  
The girl gives me a confused look before running off after her boyfriend. I sigh and shut the door of the now empty classroom. Immediately, all of the portraits shush me and tell me to be quiet. I roll my eyes and keep going. Eventually, after handing out some more detentions, and taking away points, I finally make it to the dungeons. I hate the dungeons even more than the corridors with no windows and suits of armor. Everything is just so much colder and wetter in the dungeons.  
  
The walls always feel moist, giving the impression that there was  _something_ on the walls –and trust me, my mind didn’t immediately jump to water. The corridors are loads smaller than the ones higher up, I always end up feeling like the ceiling is going to cave in on me at some point. And then there’s the fact that everything in the dungeons smells like death. It may have more to do with the fact that Slughorn keeps ingredients that give off some very strong smells.  
  
I can’t possibly imagine why anyone would want to sneak down to the dungeons after curfew. Judging by the empty broom closets and classrooms that I always find while patrolling, everyone else also agrees with me. At this point, I don’t even know why I bother coming down to the dungeons, nothing happens down here. With that thought in mind, I stop halfway through my patrol of the dungeons and turn around.  
  
If Wesley asks, I’ll just tell him that I didn’t find anyone, which isn’t that far from the truth because there never is anyone down in the dungeons.   
  
I make my way back to the Great Hall and walk past it and keep going to the kitchen. There’s nothing near the Hufflepuff common room besides the kitchen. That’s the only place where I’ll probably find someone. My stomach growls loudly and I speed up, after all, it never hurts to be quick about making sure the kitchens are empty of students.  
  
This side of Hogwarts is a lot warmer and more pleasant than the rest of the castle. It’s somehow always warm near the Hufflepuff common room, always bright, and for some reason, there are paintings of fruit everywhere. I walk up to the proper painting and tickle the pear, who lets out a shrill giggle, and turns into a doorknob. I push the portrait inwards and step into the kitchen, only to come across what appears to be a food fight.  
  
Everyone stops throwing the food however and turns to stare at me, standing in the doorway with my arms crossed. I was wrong about one thing; it seems that it wasn’t just going to be Albus in the kitchens tonight; Lorcan and Lysander have accompanied him.  
  
Albus has apple stuck to caramel on his shirt, his pants seem to have different drinks spilled on them. The purple stains must be grape, the orange must orange juice, the yellow must be apple –unless Albus wets himself and I’m only finding out about it now- and he seems to have a large wet spot on his bum. His hair is white with flour, there’s chocolate smeared all over his face and he’s holding up a pie as if he’s about to throw it. He’s also staring at me as if I’m Death and I’ve come to claim his life.   
  
Good Lord, my child is going to be crazy.  
  
Lorcan and Lysander are both in similar states of messiness. The only difference is that they’re holding trays in front of them like shields and wearing pans on their heads as helmets.  
  
I cock my hip and raise an eyebrow at the three of them and the poor house-elves taking cover under tables. None of them seem to have an explanation for me about this.  
  
“So, I see you’re having a little snack,” I comment, and look between the three of them. They all have terrified looks on their faces. Lorcan and Lysander take off the pans that they’re wearing on their heads and put down the tray, while Albus holds out his pie to me as a peace offering with a sheepish look on his face.  
  
“We were just having a little food fight,” Albus says, as something that looks like whipped cream falls from the ceiling. We all look up and stare at the large amount of whipped cream on the ceiling. Yes Albus, this was definitely a  _little_  food fight.  
  
“Clearly,” I say, as more whipped cream falls from the ceiling. I open my mouth to tell them off but stop as I catch sight of the pie that Albus was about to throw. It turns out, it’s not actually pie, it’s cheesecake. How can someone waste cheesecake on a food fight?! You don’t throw cheesecake, you eat it, obviously Albus has some learning to do in the food department.  
  
I wave my wand around the room, making the messes disappear and putting everything back in order. Within a few minutes, everything is back to how it used to be and the only dirty things left are Lorcan, Lysander and Albus. I take the cheesecake from Albus, grab a nearby fork and start eating. The boys stare at me, waiting for me to say something.  
  
“What?” I ask them through a mouthful of cheesecake.  
  
“Aren’t you going to give us detention?” Lysander asks me. I stop eating and think about it. I really should give them detention; after all, they basically vandalized the kitchen, scared the house-elves and destroyed food. I should be reporting them to Professor McGonagall, not eating cheesecake at the scene of the crime. On the other hand, I don’t expect anything less from those three and reporting them would be useless because they’ll just come back to the kitchen and have another food fight.  
  
“Why would I do that?” I ask them.  
  
“We had a food fight; did you not see the mess that we’d made a few minutes ago?” Lorcan says to me, I’m pretty sure he’s going to be checking if I have a temperature any minute. He’s not coming anywhere near me with those dirty hands of his.  
  
“What food fight are you talking about?” I ask with a raised eyebrow. The boys look at each other, look back at me and then, as if we’ve all read each other’s minds, we leave the kitchen. The house-elves go back to their work and shoot the boys dirty looks as they leave. I close the portrait behind me once the boys have exited.  
  
“So you’re not going to report us to McGonagall or anything?” Lorcan asks me.  
  
“I don’t see why I’m going to report you simply for getting some food because you missed dinner,” I reply, “after all, nutrition is important in a growing teenage boy.”  
  
“So, the food fight and the mess we made are forgiven?”  
  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I didn’t see any food fight or any mess. I think you need some sleep Lorcan,” I say, and turn my back on their shocked faces and walk away with my fork and cheesecake in hand. “I’d suggest going back to Gryffindor Tower before Wesley meets me down here. Wouldn’t want to be caught out of bed now would we, boys?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i thought i had posted all of the chapters for this that i had up on the other fic sites but as it turns out i left out the last two chapters and it's only because these ones haven't been beta'd yet but i decided to hell with it and go ahead anyways.


	7. Chapter the Seventh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so in case you haven't figured out but i started writing this way way before cursed child came out (even though the chapters seem fairly old trust me this fic has been a WIP for like well over 5 years) so we're just gonna roll with what i have at the current moment. idk how many people take cursed child as canon or not so for the purposes of this fic we're just gonna act like it's not a thing.

“Your cousin is absolutely insane,” I say to Rose, as I take a seat next to her in Charms. After Albus, Lorcan and Lysander left, I had to deal with Wesley and why I was eating cheesecake while I was on the job. I tried to explain to him that I had finished patrolling and since I’d been in the kitchens anyway, I might as well get food. He hadn’t seen it that way though, claimed I was slacking off. I wanted to point out so badly that it was me who was scheduling all of the patrol times and Hogsmeade dates, not him.  
  
“What exactly did he do?” Rose asks me as she looks through her bag for some parchment and her Charms textbook. We’re early to class, there’s only two other people in here, everyone else is still outside talking to friends or making their way to class.  
  
“I was out patrolling last night, and I walk into the kitchen and he’s covered in food, stains, and he’s about to throw cheesecake! Lorcan and Lysander were there too, assisting in covering every surface of the kitchen in food. There was whipped cream all over the ceiling, and the house-elves were hiding under the table!” I exclaim as I drag out my Charms textbook and slam it on the table.  
  
“I’m not sure why you sound so surprised, this is Albus we’re talking about. What exactly did you expect to happen when you found him in the kitchens?” Rose says, finally giving up on finding her Charms textbook. She can’t go and get it now, class is about to start and if she left she’d be late when she got back.  
  
“Does he do this all the time, here, we can share a textbook,” I add, and slide over my Charms book so that Rose can read as well.  
  
“Thanks and yes, Al does this all the time. Whenever he’s home, if he’s in the kitchen with someone else that isn’t an adult, he’ll start a food fight. It’s usually at my house as well,” Rose says.  
  
“He must get in trouble a lot.”  
  
“Nag, he just blames Hugo or whoever else is there,” Rose says shrugging. “Al is the golden boy in the family.”  
  
“He’s not going to be so golden once his family finds out what he did,” I mutter. The ancient Professor Flitwick walks to the front of the class and climbs his many books so that he can see all of us. I feel bad for the poor bloke, whenever we’re practicing spells, he always ends up flying around the room at some point during the lesson. I have a theory that he’s perfected his form now so that whenever he crashes, he’s not hurt.  
  
“Today, we will be reviewing the Aguamenti Charm, a lot of you had trouble with it last year and it seemed to be the only thing that almost everyone failed at,” Professor Flitwick says. I groan and rest my head on my desk. Why, why must everyone have so much difficulty with such a simple charm? Rose is giggling next to me but makes no attempt to take out her wand and practice the spell.  
  
“Seraphina, you need to learn how to loosen up, just practice the spell,” Rose says, rubbing my back  
  
“Rose, I already know how to do this though, I’ll be bored this entire class,” I whine childishly. Rose makes a disappointed sound, as if she’s taught me so much better than this.  
  
“Seraphina, I thought you were all about learning. You’ve got to keep practicing a spell to be good at it. Now, watch me,  _Aguamenti!_ ” she says, as she points her wand at someone across the room. Water shoots out of Rose’s wand and hits the boy square on his back. He looks around wildly, trying to find the culprit but Rose has turned from mischievous to studious student.  
  
I watch as the boy turns to face the front again, no doubt cursing whoever soaked him. Rose looks over at me with a grin on her face.  
  
“And the best part is, they don’t know how to dry themselves so they’re stuck like that for the entire day,” she says leaning back in her seat. I decide to give it a try and see what happens. I point my wand at a girl sitting two seats in front of me and whisper  _Aguatmenti_. The water hits her in the back of the head; she turns around and glares at the person sitting behind her (in front of me). Rose can’t help but giggle and hides behind a book so that no one can see her and suspect that it was her who shot the spell instead of me.   
  
I admit, that was very fun, it was mean, but fun. I shouldn’t have done that though, no matter how funny it is, I shouldn’t have done it. Now that poor girl is going to be wet all day and cold whenever a breeze passes through.   
  
Clearly hanging out with Albus and his family is doing me no good.  
  
Rose and I are laughing as quietly as possible but stop when we hear a squeak coming from the front of the room. And Professor Flitwick is being levitated around the room; I was beginning to wonder when that would happen. I’m not even sure how you can accidentally levitate someone while doing a spell to make water come out of your wand. I suspect that this is being done on purpose. I look around the room, trying to see if I can spot who’s levitating poor Flitwick.  
  
I narrow my eyes when I catch sight of Scorpius Malfoy leaning back in his chair with his feet up and his wand pointing Flitwick. He’s got a smirk on his face to try and make him seem cool but I can see that he really wants to laugh with everyone else. Speaking of laughing, I think Rose is going to die from lack of oxygen if she doesn’t start breathing soon.  
  
The rest of the class is spent like this, Flitwick flying around the room, the occasional jet of water shooting from someone’s wand, but for the most part, no one has learned how to do the Aguamenti Charm any more than they learned it last year. By the end of class, Rose is holding her stomach and gasping for breath.  
  
“My stomach hurts so much, I need to stop laughing,” Rose says, and then she begins to giggle. I roll my eyes and pat her on the back as I pack away my things. She slowly puts her parchment, quill and ink away, grabs her wand and together we exit the classroom. Rose is heading off to History of Magic while I head off to Care of Magical Creatures. That class is a safety hazard to everyone yet, for some reason, we all decide to take the class anyway.  
  
“Phina darling, there you are!” Lorcan and Lysander say at the same time. The two of them show up as if from nowhere and wrap an around me. Lysander puts his arm across my shoulders, while Lorcan wraps his around my waist. Oh God, they know something, I’m trapped, and I can’t get away. I need Rose, I must find Rose, she’ll beat the two of them up for me and then I can run for it.  
  
I look around to see if I can find Rose, but she’s already gone and I’m stuck with the twins. I don’t think I’ve ever had someone touch me like this before. Ugh, now people are going to be all touchy touchy with me after this. Whatever happened to personal space?  
  
“This is the most uncomfortable I’ve ever been in my life,” I say in greeting. The boys squeeze me to them even tighter, I can’t help but grimace at the fact that now I’m making even more contact with them. I absolutely despise touching other people, for some reason it’s like the personal space disappears and the person thinks that it’s okay to touch you whenever.  
  
“Why, are our arms bothering you, do you have a problem with them touching you?” Lysander asks with a mischievous grin. I narrow my eyes at him as he and his brother lead me down to Hagrid’s cabin for our Care of Magical Creature’s lesson. I have a feeling that I’ve just walked into something and the only option left is waiting it out to see what happens.  
  
“Actually, yes, I have a problem with people touching me, you see, I don’t like it,” I reply, and try to wiggle out of their grasp. Their hold on me simply tightens some more.  
  
“Really now, that’s not what we heard from Albus,” Lorcan says. I turn my head to look at him so fast I’m surprised I haven’t snapped it.  
  
“In fact, what I think you said was, and I quote-“  
  
“Okay, I think I get where you’re going with this,” I interrupt. The last thing I need is for someone to talk about what happened that night. “I can’t believe he told you!”  
  
“Of course he told us,” Lysander says and forces me to sit down with him and Lorcan on the grass. According to some of our classmates, there’s a note on Hagrid’s cabin door that says he’ll be late to class, “just like girls tell each other everything, so do blokes.”  
  
“Alright, you know, now what do you want,” I snap. I am going to hunt down Albus and I am going to kill him. I cannot believe that he told Lorcan and Lysander about what happened! He doesn’t see me going around and blabbing to people about what went on at that party. Except for Rose  . . . and Lily, but there was no point in lying to them anyway, they’d already figured it out.  
  
“Phina, stop trying to burn that stump to ashes with your eyes,” Lorcan says, “we would like to know why you haven’t told us that you’re pregnant with his child.”  
  
Is there some kind of sign hanging around me that says I’m pregnant, really, is there? I’m beginning to think that there is because there is no way that everyone is figuring out that I’m pregnant. Either there’s some kind of sign or everyone isn’t as stupid as I thought they were. Lorcan and Lysander are the very last people who I thought would figure this entire thing out. Hell, I thought Albus would figure out what’s going on before those two.  
  
“How, exactly, did you figure that out?” I ask the two of them.  
  
“We put two and two together, it wasn’t that hard really,” the both of them say at the same time. That’s a little bit creepy, it makes them sound like robots and I get the feeling that I’m going to be assassinated.  
  
“Then why hasn’t Albus figured it out yet?” I ask.  
  
“Albus is a daft git who wouldn’t notice the obvious even if it was beating him over the head with a brick,” Lorcan says. So this is what friendship is all about, beautiful poetry about how oblivious your friends can be. I can get used to that. “If you’re expecting him to notice the obvious, you’re out of luck.”  
  
“The bloke is brilliant at reading people and reading in between the lines but he’s absolutely blind to the obvious,” Lysander adds. “Lorcan, what else are we supposed to tell Phina?”  
  
“Al said something about wanting to talk to her in private or something about that thing. I don’t know when but he said that if you need to find him, he’ll be in the common room after classes are over,” Lorcan replied shrugging. He lay down with his arms folded behind his head and closed his eyes. It’s almost half an hour into class and Hagrid still hasn’t shown up. At the rate that things are going, I don’t think he’s going to show up at all.  
  
I lay down, mimicking Lorcan’s position and close my eyes. Instead of snow, there’s sun and a cool breeze blowing through the grounds. Instead of white and cold, there’s grass and leaves and warmth. We’re having a late winter in Scotland it seems. I relax and empty my mind of everything.  
  
Before I know it, Lysander is shaking me awake and I’m opening my eyes to Hagrid standing in front of the class and saying something about how the creatures got away from him. I rub my eyes and yawn. Lorcan and Lysander help me to my feet and dust me off while everyone else grabs their bags and heads inside for dinner. I’ve slept through the entire lesson it seems.  
  
Lorcan and Lysander rush me to dinner and practically feed me the food so that I can be finished eating and go see Albus. In thirty minutes, my mouth is full, I look like a chipmunk, I’m positive that I’m going to choke on the food and Lorcan and Lysander are shoving me out of the Great Hall. You know what, on second thought, maybe I don’t want or need friends, it has come to my attention that they’re very pushy people.  
  
I climb the stairs as fast as I can while trying to chew the food in my mouth and swallow it. Portrait after portrait yells at me that it is unladylike to be eating so much but I ignore them because I have to talk to Albus. He may need to talk to me about what happened but I’m going to give him a piece of my mind for spilling the beans to Lorcan and Lysander. Whatever happened to not telling anyone?!  
  
Okay, so I broke that rule myself by telling Lily and Rose but it’s not like it could’ve been helped! Lily was in the room when I was talking to Madam Pomfrey about the pregnancy and Rose had figured it out within five minutes of being around me!  
  
I give the Fat Lady the password and she swings forward hurriedly, no doubt the expression on my face is quite scary. I march into the common and look around for Albus. I spot him sitting in a comfy chair near the fire and stomp my way over to him. He looks up from his book and looks surprised at the expression on my face.  
  
“Albus Potter, I’ve got a bone to pick with you,” I say, and glare at him. “Let’s go,” I say, and drag him out of the portrait hole by the arm and down some empty corridor.  
  
“Whatever happened to not telling anyone that we slept together,” I snap at him, after checking to make sure that the hallway is empty.  
  
“Who exactly did I tell?” Albus asks, clearly confused. I don’t believe it for one second, he knows perfectly well who he told about us sleeping together. I’ll admit, he’s a good actor but, unfortunately for him, I’m difficult to fool.  
  
“You know exactly who you told! Lorcan and Lysander told me all about how you told them what happened at that party.”  
  
“I didn’t tell Lorcan and Lysander anything, all I told them was that I needed to talk to you and where you could find me, I didn’t say anything about why I needed to talk to you,” Albus says defensively. I stare at him for a moment and finally decide that he’s probably not lying.  
  
“So you didn’t tell them what happened?”  
  
“No, of course not, you told me not to tell anyone so I didn’t.”  
  
“Those little twats, they tricked me! They told me that you’d told them what happened and then they even managed to get me to tell that I’m –never mind, it doesn’t matter, what did you want to talk to me about?” I ask hurriedly, changing the subject. Albus notices that I changed the subject however and raises an eyebrow at what I was about to spill. Right now isn’t exactly the right time to tell him that I’m pregnant.  
  
“I want to talk about what happened that night at the party,” Albus says, taking a seat on the cold and dirty ground. He sighs when he sees me eyeing the floor with distaste, takes off his robes and sets it down next to him.  
  
“What are you doing?” I ask him.  
  
“You’re looking at the floor like it’s just spit in your face or killed one of your family members, your face is about to fix itself into a permanent look of hatred, and I’d rather not have you scowling at me and thinking about the dust and dirt sticking to your skirt while I’m talking to you, now sit,” he says, patting the robe next to him. I don’t want to sit down and deny everything that he’s just said but we both know it’s true and I’ll just be wasting time being stubborn. I sit down on the robe, making sure that there’s space between Albus and I and wait for him to speak.  
  
“Look, I want to talk about that night that there was the party,” Albus begins nervously.  
  
“What is there to talk about, it’s over and done with and I don’t see why we have to discuss it,” I immediately reply and fidget with the hem of my shirt.  
  
“Erm, let’s see, there’s the fact that you got drunk, then you kissed me, and then we went upstairs to my room and had sex. There’s plenty of stuff to talk about Seraphina, and yes we do need to talk about it.”  
  
“No, we don’t  _need_ to talk about it, you  _want_  to talk about it, I still stand by the fact that there’s nothing to talk about and that we should forget that it ever happened,” not that we can exactly do that after I tell you that I’m pregnant with your child.  
  
“Seraphina, you had to have felt something or thought something that night, I refuse to believe that you are so cut off from your emotions that it was absolutely meaningless,” Albus insists. Why won’t he just drop it? Why does he insist on talking about what happened? We had sex, okay; we both know that, now can we move on from that little detail?  
  
“No, Albus, I didn’t feel anything. It was a drunken mistake, it never should’ve happened, it didn’t mean anything to me and I have moved on from it. You need to move on from it as well and just let it go,” I snap. There’s a hurt look on his face that I don’t care for, I’m not going to sugar coat anything here, it is what it is and I don’t see any reason to beat around the bush. If Albus is expecting someone sweet and understanding, that’s not what he’s getting.  
  
“How can you not have felt something?! How can you be completely okay with the fact that you lost your virginity at a party!? Don’t you ever think about the fact that you had sex with your best friend, I was freaking out for days that I’d slept with my best friend and Head Girl, and I’m still trying to wrap my head around it!” Albus cries, getting angry with me.  
  
“You’re not my best friend Albus, you were, once, but you’re not my best friend anymore, you know nothing about me,” I say coldly and move away from him.  He has no right to act like he knows me, like he knows how I think and what I should feel. He hasn’t spoken to me in seven years; I’m not the little girl that he used to play with anymore.  
  
“I may not know everything about you now Seraphina, I know that you’ve changed, I saw it happen throughout the years, but I still know you. I know how you think and deal with things, and I know how you try to forget about things. You must’ve felt something, you can’t have closed off yourself from everyone that much,” Albus says, running his hands through his hair. It’s what he does when he’s angry, frustrated or annoyed with someone; it’s what he’s always done. I don’t think he’s noticed that it just makes him look messy.  
  
“Albus, you need to stop pushing it, I didn’t feel anything and I still don’t, I’ve forgotten all about what happened,” I say, and stand up to leave. I flatten out my skirt, straighten up my shirt and dust off any dirt that might’ve gotten on me. I grab my bag and turn to leave but Albus stops me by pulling me back towards him by my arm.  
  
The hallways are empty, it’s dark outside and we can barely see in the corridor, but we don’t care. What’s happening around us is the very last thing on our mind.  
  
“No, I will not stop pushing it, not until you tell me what was going through your mind. I don’t know why it’s so difficult for you talk about it, it’s not that hard. I was in shock that I’d had sex with my best friend; I was in shock that Seraphina Doyle, the Ice Queen, had actually done something reckless and stupid. And I was shocked at how you just brushed it off and moved on with your life, like nothing happened,” Albus says. I scowl at him, tug my arm out of his grasp and move a few feet away from him.  
  
“Fine, you want to know how I felt Albus, I’ll tell you,” I say, throwing my bag to the ground. “I remember everything that happened that night, each and every single thing. I remember how the Firewhiskey felt going down my throat; I remember how I had no control over myself and my stupid thoughts. I hate that, I hate the Firewhiskey and the idiotic thoughts and the fact that I sounded like an absolute idiot.”  
  
I start pacing and waving my arms around, I’m practically shouting but I don’t care. I don’t care who hears or what they think, everything is spilling out and I can’t seem to stop. I haven’t realized how much that night has been bugging me and how I’ve wanted to talk about it.  
  
“I remember kissing you, I remember how I practically threw myself at you and how you wrapped your arms around me and held me to you so that I couldn’t escape. Every time that I think about it, I can picture it in my head, the memory is so clear, it’s like it happened yesterday. I remember going up to your room and clothes being removed. I remember every single touch and kiss and breath and I hate myself for remembering it,” I say, my throat beginning to hurt. I want to hit something; I want to hit Albus for making me think about what happened. I want to hit him for forcing me to stop pretending like I don’t remember anything that night.  
  
I want to hit him as hard as I can. Instead, I keep talking.  
  
“And you know what the worst part of it is Albus?” I ask him, staring into his shocked face. “I liked it, I actually liked it. I’m supposed to be sensible, I’m not supposed to let something like that happen, and I should’ve regretted the fact that it ever happened at all, but I don’t. I’ve moved on from it, okay, I forgot all about how I felt and what happened and I moved on. I don’t feel anything that I felt that night and I’m going to make sure that something like that doesn’t happen again. Are you happy now Albus?” I ask, stopping in front of him. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so surprised in my entire life.  
  
“All that, and you still convince yourself that you don’t feel anything at all?” he asks me, after a moment of silence.  
  
“Yes Albus, that is exactly what I’m saying,” I reply. He stares at me with wide eyes for a moment and then does something that is totally out of the blue and unexpected. Albus puts both hands on either side of my face –completely ignoring the fact the fact that this is me and I will most likely freak out– pulls me towards him and kisses me square on the mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter hasn't been beta read either but i'm posting it anyway and hoping for the best so here we are.

**Author's Note:**

> this was the second novel fanfiction i wrote after i finished my first trainwreck one (which is no longer with us today unfortunately or fortunately depending on how you look at it). i started writing this during a time where i was obsessed with gemma arterton because she is an actual goddess. this story is being beta'd by the wonderful Jenna (or as she is known on HPFF, Lululuna)


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